This Is A War / Love Versus Fear / We Must Win

The live version of war poem No Liars Were Harmed, shot 12 minutes into my poetry performance career...

More than a year after having written and released No Liars Were Harmed, I don’t remember much about the process. I never really do anyway. But the poem remains special because of several very clear and powerful moments as it came together.

Firstly, the title that led to the cruel twisted mantra that leads the story: “No liars were harmed in the suppression of this truth / No liars were harmed in the creation of this illustion.” It fell out of my mind as I was walking home from the pub one night, although I don’t remember which pub.

Next, tying it together with the experience of watching a violent incident take place outside a different pub, and becoming involved to the extent of trying to calm a young woman who’d just been through an experience no one would volunteer for. That’s where the opening sequence comes from.

Next, realising the story was about war, or at least my understanding of it as the Ukraine invasion began; and the notion that violence doesn’t have to be physical.

Next, an increasing belief that in the absence of religion, profitmakers will create fake religions to pander to a sense of absence in people’s lives, and convert faith and loyalty to fear and anger. (Some people have argued over the years that humanity invented God through a need to have faith in something – I’d always thought that was kinda nonsense until I began thinking that what’s going on around us is evidence of that in a neo-liberalist fashion.)

Next, realising it needed an angry voice, and therefore an angry character, and realising it was someone like Trump, and coming up with the “I know all about fair - I’m a billionaire” sequence in about 12 minutes in a sunlit field miles from any other human.

Next, Jacob Holm-Lupo’s wonderful composition work once I sent him the vocal performance; and then his equally wonderful production work in assembling everything – especially Kelly Phillips’ haunting imprisoned-angel vocal, which was never part of the plan and had to be scraped from a video outtake. (Listening to a work in progress when it first comes back with Jacob’s music remains my very favourite part of this entire malarkey!)

Next, working on the video in another lonely field with Kelly, as we both realised what we were doing was something notably outside standard experience, and had that certain something. Part of the idea behind the Boozer Cruiser project is to remain a bit haphazard; making videos in fields with only a very vague concept is exactly what I’m after, and I love the way it hints at something a lot bigger than it actually is, and in doing becomes bigger than it is – because that’s how we all live, or should anyway.

Next, the explosion of interest when we launched the completed piece in April 2022, quickly followed by my shock and bewilderment that (at one point) over half the views were coming from Ukraine –– precisely the people I’d been writing for and about. That meant I was a real proper artist, and I spent about two week lost and confused. Be careful what you wish for…

And then, finally, performing No Liars on stage for the first time, as seen in the video below. I’ve done live TV and live radio, and I’ve played hundreds of shows as a drummer, so I wasn’t nervous about that aspect. I should have been nervous of being on stage, alone, in front of an audience who had no idea who I was (or was trying to be) – an audience who’d come for live prog music and were probably wondering why they had to put up with poetry! I simply was not scared in any way, because I was there to present those poems, which exist through me rather than by me. I was there to do what I believe I’m here to do, and I believed in that, and the belief made the whole thing easy.

(So easy that I’m afraid I don’t remember much of it. You’d think a debut performance would be embedded deep, and I can certainly talk about facts around it, but I don’t remember how I felt. I suspect it’s the same way I feel when the lines of poetry start appearing – I’m not really there; I’m just channelling something else, and although I have an idea what it is, I ironically don’t have the words to describe it.)

I’ve never been a big fan of reading, watching or listening to anything I’ve done. But when the video from the show was sent to me I had to take a glance in the hope of learning something. What I learned was, hey, I’m good at this! Or at least good at believing in the material to make the rest of it not worth worrying about. And I’m a massive worrier (of which more another time).

Winter can be difficult on a narrowboat. It begins to feel like you spend the entire season keeping yourself warm and safe, and when you’re not acting on that mission you’re thinking about it. It’s exhausting if your mind works the way mine does. Assembling the No Liars live video was – and I’m not exaggerating – just about the only thing that kept me going as the spring struggled to loosen winter’s grip on the first quarter of this year.

And here is the result. Don’t worry that I forgot to start before the music playback begins. I’m not worried about it! Don’t worry that I got my breathing wrong in the angry section. It doesn’t worry me! Just let it do what it’s meant to do, and see if you think it has as much impact, and art, and truth, about it as I do.

Then, finally, have a think about what the message might be. I’m pretty sure it’ll mean something important to you too.